[Fwd: [J] MUST READ! GREATEST FLAME ON EARTH!]

[Shannen Durphey]

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I try not to be part of those endlessly forwarded little jokes, but
there are a few good ones.  This is definitely one of them.
Shannen
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Date: Thu, 11 Mar 1999 13:53:19 -0600
From: Chris Fries <qcf001 at email.mot.com>
Organization: Motorola
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To: j-body at phobia.net
Subject: [J] MUST READ! GREATEST FLAME ON EARTH!
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Guys, check this out, originally quoted from the Volvo turbo list.  I
saw it floating on the Type R list, where it was forwarded from the NSX
list, where it was forwarded from the MKIV list..

This is beyond a flame.  This is a super-flame.  The holy shrine to all
flames.  

The flame oracle has revealed the path to flame righteousness.

Don't miss the shit at the bottom!  It's great!  

I used to think that we were rough!  All the shit we said on the old
bb-elec mail list doesn't even compare!

> >   ------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Subject: [turbobricks] Re: adjusting the boost
> > Date: Thu, 7 Jan 1999 18:43:49
> > From: "Paddy O'phuerntshur" <Irishbear at kemphthorne.org>
> > Reply-To: "Turbobricks Mailing List" <turbobricks at telelists.com>
> > To: "Turbobricks Mailing List" <turbobricks at telelists.com>
> >
> > On 01/07/99, ""kris" <volvofam3 at dhc.net>" wrote:
> > > You might have to shorten the length of the westgate rod
> >
Mr. Kris:  The word you are looking for is WASTEgate, not westgate. 
That's not just a spelling error, Kris--that's laziness.  Laziness
builds bad cars.
> >
> > > with mine.You also might already have a leak in your intercooler hoses,which
> > > is bleeding off boost-i would look very closely into this before cranking up
> > > the boost chances are you have a bad leak in one of the hoses.
> >
Wellnow.  Aren't we suddenly the expert on leaks!  Don't you think two
weeks is an awfulgoshdarn short time in which to become so experienced
in
fixing leaks you were complaining about not being able to fix?
> >
> > > I purchased an '84 242 ti a little over a year ago and am just now
> > > REALLY tinkering with it.
> >
You don't need to remind us of that!  We *remember* your
"tinkering"...with
old pistons in a new motor...with several inexplicably-broken oil
pumps...with nonworking door latches...
> >
> > > Anyway, I put a VDO boost pressure
> > > gauge in and found much to my suprise I found that I was putting
> > > out only 4 PSI.
> >
Gee whiz! What a surprise! Do you think those worn-out pistons in those
worn-out (or freshly-bored) cylinders could be letting all your boost
into
the crankcase, causing all the oil leaks and smoking you've been
bitching
about lately?
...naaaaaaaaaah.
> >
> > > My guess is that the prior owner had but an
> > > intercooler in it but never adjusted the wastegate.
> >
That, Kris, was not a sentence, although this time you spelled
"wastegate" correctly.  So what is it with you?  Do you have
intermittent
incompetence that kicks in and out like a faulty overdrive?  Or are you
maybe just
having a big joke on us all by pretending to be an imbecile and watching
those of us who are charitable towards people with problems waste our
time with you?
> >
> > >   Well.. here I come along and find that I am WAY below a normal
> >
We know that already!
> >
> > > WAY below a normal boost pressure
> >
Oh...not the self-realization it seemed to be...
> >
> > > I put a good number of turns on the linkage and boost went up about
> > > 3 PSI. About 2 weeks later, I decide to really crank on the pressure
> > > and I adjusted it in even more. Much to my suprise the max boost
> > > did not get any higher adjusted the linkage all the way down. That netted me
> > > about 1 psi.
> >
So you're saying that several wrong settings gave you several wrong
boost pressures.  And your point would be...?
> >
> > > Anyone have any idea why I would be limited to 8 PSI
> > > with the boost linkage basically cranked all the way down to max
> > > pressure?
> >
BECAUSE THE PISTONS ARE WORN DOWN TO BLOODY STUMPS, YOU THUNDERING
MORON!
> >
> > > Seems to me that I should be blowing the hoses off.
> >
Yes, you should be blowing off hoses.  I imagine you'd do very well at
blowing off hoses, considering all the blowing-off practice you
obviously
got during what was supposed to be your education.
> >
> > > Can someone send a clue my way?
> >
No, Kris, we cannot--As we say here in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour
piss out of a boot with
instructions on the heel.  And do you know why that is so?  It's because
you're
clueless, son! Completely clueless!  You wouldn't have a clue if
somebody *faxed* it to you!
And what is more, you couldn't *get* a clue if you stripped naked and
soaked your pallid hide in clue musk, then did the clue mating dance in
a field full of horny clues during the height of clue mating season!
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the
samespeciesas
you.  Your life is a monument to stupidity.  Try to edit your responses
of
unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight.
The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to
readers,
but they will be able to access it more rapidly. And what meaning do you
expect 
your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced
opinion 
to have with us?  What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that
your tiny-fisted
tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat,
spinning rabidly in a 
circle, waiting for the bite of the snake? On a good day you're a
half-wit. You remind 
me of dogshit. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have
the personality of
wallpaper. You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You
are degenerate, 
noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I
despise everything 
about you, and I wish you would go away.  I cannot believe how
incredibly stupid you are.  
I mean rock-hard stupid.  Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid.  Stupid so stupid
that it goes way 
beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. 
You are trans-stupid 
stupid.  Meta-stupid.  Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the
neutrons have collapsed.  
Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape.  Singularity
stupid.  Blazing hot mid-day 
sun on Mercury stupid.  You emit more stupid in one second than our
entire galaxy emits 
in a year.  Quasar stupid.  Your writing has to be a troll.  Nothing in
our universe can really 
be this stupid.  Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the
original big bang of stupid.  
Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to
be beyond
the laws of physics that we know.  I'm sorry.  I can't go on.  This is
an epiphany of stupid for 
me.  After this, you may not hear from me again for a while.  I don't
have enough strength left 
to deride your ignorant questions and half-baked comments about
unimportant trivia, or any of
the rest of this drivel.  The only thing worse than your logic is your
manners.  I have snipped
away most of your of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really
say anything. Your attempt 
at creativity was pitiful.  Maybe later in life, after you have learned
to read, write, spell, and count, 
you will have more success.  True, these are rudimentary skills that
many of us normal
people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. 
But we sometimes 
forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these
things more difficult. If 
I had known that this was your casethen I would have never read your
post.  It just wouldn't have 
been "right".  Sort of like parking in a handicap space.  I wish you the
best of luck in the emotional 
and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

NOW PISS OFF!!!

Paddy O'Phuerntshur
Las Trevlas, TX
'81 242GT B230ET "specially modified"
'81 245GT B230ET "Did it come from the factory like that?"
'82 242GT waiting for special modifications...snicker...


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