Fw: Things it took me 50 years . . . .

Tue Jul 18 17:05:45 GMT 2000

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Sent: Tuesday, July 18, 2000 9:29 AM
Subject: Things it took me 50 years . . . .


>
> << > THINGS THAT IT  TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN
>  >
>  > 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative
>  > on  the  same night.
>  >
>  > 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
>  > has  not  achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that
word
>  > would be "meetings."
>  >
>  > 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
>  >
>  > 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost
>  > never want  you to share yours with them.
>  >
>  > 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its
>  > glories,  decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as
>  > His messenger,  a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
>  >
>  > 6. You should not confuse your career with your life.
>  >
>  > 7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too
>  >  seriously.
>  >
>  > 8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one
>  > individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.
Very
>  > often, that individual is crazy.
>  >
>  > 9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
>  >
>  > 10. Never lick a steak knife.
>  >
>  > 11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
>  >
>  > 12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
>  >
>  > 13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
>  > compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
>  >
>  > 14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
>  > suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby
>  > emerging from her at that moment.
>  >
>  > 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
>  > make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
>  >
>  > 16. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
>  > gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
>  > down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
>  >
>  > 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to
>  > annoy people who are not in them.
>  >
>  > 18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
>  > person.
>  >
>  > 19. Your friends love you, anyway. (Thank God)
>  > >>
>
>


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*=6YD87)Y+2T-"@``
`
end

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